Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. I guess I've hit the penultimate chapter of this one. I'm still not sure how this hapened, but it has.
I did a whole lot of preaching this weekend. It's days like those that make me wonder if God's just laughing whenever I say I don't want to become a pastor. On Saturday, the Sunday school class that we're doing to get the kids ready for the Operation Christmas Child program met, and I was alone to lead it. Usually Lauren and I do it together, but she was in DAR getting the boxes! I'm so glad they arrived especially because it's been over two months since the seminar. So this weekend, I did it alone which was fine because one of my Class V students came and translated. The day was a bit of a challenge in that the power went out at 8 (before I even woke up) and came back on for only 40 minutes or so throughout the day. My computer died somewhere around 6 or 7 that night, so it was a strange night in the dark. That night I actually took a cold bucket shower in the dark, the water of which we collected from rain. I feel like I have achieved the true missionary stereotype.
Sunday was busy. I taught Sunday school of course, but this week I ended up with the little kids, not my usual bunch. There was some miscommunication which I still don't understand. It just happened, and suddenly I found myself talking to the little ones about respecting your parents! :) At least it all went well and there were two girls there translating. I then had to preach at the youth service which I did about using our spiritual gifts. This was my last youth service, which is why I had been asked to preach. It's strange that my lasts have started; Friday was also my last English class with the ladies. Then that evening we hosted the prayer service. This too was my last regular prayer service because the last one will be a Easter morning sunrise service.
Before I move onto what happened this week, I want to at least mention the exam results because I was overall quite please! Class V math especially was really great, I'm so proud of them! Science was ok in both V and VI. I had some really great moments when a math student of mine got what is considered a B (granted, B's here are defined as 60-80%) but considering I've struggled to improve his math scores and we suspect he has a attention disorder of some sort, the look on his face when he saw his test was pretty amazing! He even did better than some of the kids in his class known for top scores! In Class V science, the number three student in the class was one who characteristically does poorly. Everyone gasped when I read his name; I was so proud of him! The next day he told me that his parents were so proud of him that they're getting him a gift as a reward! Class VII took a mock exam last week, so they didn't take exams. We got the results back from that, but their test was written by the government. They didn't do as well, and in some ways, it's not their fault. It's so frustrating when the kids are smarter than the test they're taking. I'm not bothered by the small grammatical errors in the questions; it's when the questions are written in such a manner that they make no sense, the correct answer isn't an answer choice, or the wrong answer is marked as correct. Out of 50 questions on the test, I think at least 10 had serious problems like this. The kids kept asking me to change their tests, but a mock exam is prepared and administered through the government, so we have no control. It doesn't affect their national exams, but it's really hard to explain to them that they're just smarter than the test when that test will eventually determine so much for them. Poor kids.
So then came Monday. It was my last normal day of school, and it was just that, normal. It slippd by quickly, just a typical day. I'm really bummed that this is how our schedule worked out. Because we've had ten hard weeks of school with one day off, I'm burned out. I'm ready for a break; it just so happens that this break is my good bye. It seems to be beyond my understanding that this is the end. I know it, but I just can't fully grasp it. It's not for lack of reminders either. The schedule simply says "Farewell to KJ" for the last event of the week, and the kids don't what "farewell" means, so they come ask me. It's quite awkward to explain. I mentioned in Class V Monday afternoon how this was our last class together, and admist the wail of "No Madam!" two of the girls actually came up, got on their knees and asked me to stay!
The Class V kids definitely took this harder. On Tuesday and Wednesday, in between exams, a large group of them were constantly hanging out with me. A few of them don't even like to let go of my hands! I've been able to have a lot more fun with them because of the weird exam schedule. On Tuesday, I set up games of Telephone with them to keep them quiet while others were testing. Wednesday I started singing with them. We sang songs where you have to shake hands with other people, high five them, "bump rumps," etc., songs about sharks and other silly cheers I learned at things like church camp and HOBY. I must really love my kids. One has a part that goes like this:
"Form a cow, form form a cow! Form a cow, form form a cow!" (You get down on your hands and knees)
"Tip the cow, tip tip the cow! Tip the cow, tip tip the cow!" (You roll onto your back, your hands and feet in the air)
"Have a cow, have have a cow! Have a cow, have have a cow!" (You wiggle your arms and legs in the air)
I did this with them. In a skirt. On a very, very dirty floor. I don't even think half of them actually did it with me because they didn't want to get dirty! I also made some of them become very brave. There were some frogs jumping around, so I would pick them up and encourage them to hold the frog with me. It blows my mind that these kids are 11, 12, 13 and this was likely the first time they ever held a toad! To get them to do it, I had to say we were "doing it together" by holding the hand on top of mine and then placing the frog in it. Usually there was a shriek at first, but then all was calm. That is, until it started moving.
Well, then Thursday arrived. It was so weird going to school knowing that it was my last day and that there was going to be a celebration that afternoon in my honor. Or, as I soon learned, two. There was one with the students AND then one with the teachers. At first things were ok because there were still a few exams to take, so I just had to go into classes and give exams, but I noticed Class VII had vanished. When I asked some other students, they pointed to the tree at the other end of the school field where they were all gathered. "Madam, they're practicing for the celebration." I'm sorry, but I can't seem to adequately describe the feeling of that moment. Just knowing that there is a Tanzanian celebration being prepared in your honor is... overwhelming is the closest I can get. I went back to the "safe place" my mind first resorted to when I arrived in Tanzania came back and I haven't needed to do that probably since my first few days here. I had no idea what would all be coming, and on top of that, I was trying to enjoy every moment because they were the last ones. Luckily, I think I was able to just be for the day which was the best position to be in.
Eventually the exams finished, and then they started getting the speakers ready so all the kids knew the time was coming. Again, many were clinging to me and both Christine and I started to get a little too overwhelmed, so during break we went home for 15 mintues to just breathe. This is the only the second time the school has said good bye to a missionary teacher, and for the Class V and VI kids, it's their first time with a missionary teacher who's actually taught them. I think that made this harder in some ways. We got back, and I was able to spend some more time with the kids before they started gathering them for the celebration. I won't be able to post pictures right now, but I will soon. I was (unintentionally) in a row of honor. All of the other teachers were sitting behind me, so I was pretty much there, front and center. The kids were then invited to do anything they had prepared. Surprisingly, a group of Class IV boys and a group of girls had prepared some small dances. Class V had one group go, and then a Class V boy and a Class VI boy did some intense, awesome dancing. I'm so happy, we have a video of it! A mixed group of Class V, VI and VII kids had a skit prepared and a song. I couldn't actually hear most of the skit, but the song was mixed Swahili and English saying good bye. Then Class VII went, and I was blown away. I really think every kid was involved. All of the boys were doing the drums while the girls did the singing and dancing. At first the girls were just in a circle singing a similar good bye song, but then they really started dancing. It got pretty African :) It's so hard to explain it, but we have three videos of it because it was probably 10 minutes long as a whole and there were distinctly three parts to it. I was pretty floored by the whole thing; it was so amazing! Then the head teacher danced which was entertaining because he's not a young guy, and I was asked to speak. I just thanked the students and told them how much they had given me. I promised them that I would never stop telling people in America how amazing they are, even if they got sick of it! (Everyone back home, be ready. This is 100% true.) That more or less ended the time with the students. I asked Class V to go back to the class so we could do a class picture in the classroom, although the ones outside of it are better. That's when the students really started realizing this was the end. A number started crying (myself included) and I was more or less in a perptual hugging state for about fifteen minutes. I kept telling them that we had to be glad we had our time together rather than be sad it was over because I was repeating that quote to myself the entire day. Finally though I just said good bye and walked back home.
I went home and had a little while to breathe. However, it had only been about twenty minutes when Christine knocked on my door and told me that some Class VII boys were there to greet me one last time. So I sat out on the porch for at least another hour as kids came and went and talked with me. Fourteen year old boys are the same in all cultures I've learned; I just teased them about girls for a long time. They like them now, so they didn't mind. A little after 3 we went back to the school for the teacher celebration which was much calmer. The teachers more or less thanked me, they gave me a very African style dress and an elephant with a stand that said "Wellcome back" (spelled exactly like that. Oh Tanzania!). We had a meal together, took a group picture, and then the day more or less ended.
Like I said, I was really good about just being present for the whole thing. When I prayed last night, my mind was buzzing with everything that had happened. I ended up just saying "Well, God, today happened. I don't know what else to say." Good bye's are necessary in life. That doesn't make it easier, but they have to happen. Today, we took a 10.5 bus ride to Arusha because tomorrow we start a safari through Tarangire National Park, Serengeti National Park, and Ngorongoro crater. That was a good time to process everything. I think I made a mistake in focusing too much on getting to this few days that I didn't prepare myself for the total meaning. Whenever I realize that this was the end, and I don't get to see, teach, laugh with, talk to, sing with, encourage, etc. these kids anymore, I just start to lose it. Even as I'm typing this now a few tears are leaking out. I've said it before, and I will just have to say it again (and again, and again, and again): bwana asifewe, God gave me the most amazing children to teach. And in God's great, benevolent plan, this was the time we had together. I only hope I accomplished everything he wanted me to with them.
We'll be on safari this week, and then it's just one more week in Tanzania! Stay tuned, the end is near.
God bless,
Kjirstin
I did a whole lot of preaching this weekend. It's days like those that make me wonder if God's just laughing whenever I say I don't want to become a pastor. On Saturday, the Sunday school class that we're doing to get the kids ready for the Operation Christmas Child program met, and I was alone to lead it. Usually Lauren and I do it together, but she was in DAR getting the boxes! I'm so glad they arrived especially because it's been over two months since the seminar. So this weekend, I did it alone which was fine because one of my Class V students came and translated. The day was a bit of a challenge in that the power went out at 8 (before I even woke up) and came back on for only 40 minutes or so throughout the day. My computer died somewhere around 6 or 7 that night, so it was a strange night in the dark. That night I actually took a cold bucket shower in the dark, the water of which we collected from rain. I feel like I have achieved the true missionary stereotype.
Sunday was busy. I taught Sunday school of course, but this week I ended up with the little kids, not my usual bunch. There was some miscommunication which I still don't understand. It just happened, and suddenly I found myself talking to the little ones about respecting your parents! :) At least it all went well and there were two girls there translating. I then had to preach at the youth service which I did about using our spiritual gifts. This was my last youth service, which is why I had been asked to preach. It's strange that my lasts have started; Friday was also my last English class with the ladies. Then that evening we hosted the prayer service. This too was my last regular prayer service because the last one will be a Easter morning sunrise service.
Before I move onto what happened this week, I want to at least mention the exam results because I was overall quite please! Class V math especially was really great, I'm so proud of them! Science was ok in both V and VI. I had some really great moments when a math student of mine got what is considered a B (granted, B's here are defined as 60-80%) but considering I've struggled to improve his math scores and we suspect he has a attention disorder of some sort, the look on his face when he saw his test was pretty amazing! He even did better than some of the kids in his class known for top scores! In Class V science, the number three student in the class was one who characteristically does poorly. Everyone gasped when I read his name; I was so proud of him! The next day he told me that his parents were so proud of him that they're getting him a gift as a reward! Class VII took a mock exam last week, so they didn't take exams. We got the results back from that, but their test was written by the government. They didn't do as well, and in some ways, it's not their fault. It's so frustrating when the kids are smarter than the test they're taking. I'm not bothered by the small grammatical errors in the questions; it's when the questions are written in such a manner that they make no sense, the correct answer isn't an answer choice, or the wrong answer is marked as correct. Out of 50 questions on the test, I think at least 10 had serious problems like this. The kids kept asking me to change their tests, but a mock exam is prepared and administered through the government, so we have no control. It doesn't affect their national exams, but it's really hard to explain to them that they're just smarter than the test when that test will eventually determine so much for them. Poor kids.
So then came Monday. It was my last normal day of school, and it was just that, normal. It slippd by quickly, just a typical day. I'm really bummed that this is how our schedule worked out. Because we've had ten hard weeks of school with one day off, I'm burned out. I'm ready for a break; it just so happens that this break is my good bye. It seems to be beyond my understanding that this is the end. I know it, but I just can't fully grasp it. It's not for lack of reminders either. The schedule simply says "Farewell to KJ" for the last event of the week, and the kids don't what "farewell" means, so they come ask me. It's quite awkward to explain. I mentioned in Class V Monday afternoon how this was our last class together, and admist the wail of "No Madam!" two of the girls actually came up, got on their knees and asked me to stay!
The Class V kids definitely took this harder. On Tuesday and Wednesday, in between exams, a large group of them were constantly hanging out with me. A few of them don't even like to let go of my hands! I've been able to have a lot more fun with them because of the weird exam schedule. On Tuesday, I set up games of Telephone with them to keep them quiet while others were testing. Wednesday I started singing with them. We sang songs where you have to shake hands with other people, high five them, "bump rumps," etc., songs about sharks and other silly cheers I learned at things like church camp and HOBY. I must really love my kids. One has a part that goes like this:
"Form a cow, form form a cow! Form a cow, form form a cow!" (You get down on your hands and knees)
"Tip the cow, tip tip the cow! Tip the cow, tip tip the cow!" (You roll onto your back, your hands and feet in the air)
"Have a cow, have have a cow! Have a cow, have have a cow!" (You wiggle your arms and legs in the air)
I did this with them. In a skirt. On a very, very dirty floor. I don't even think half of them actually did it with me because they didn't want to get dirty! I also made some of them become very brave. There were some frogs jumping around, so I would pick them up and encourage them to hold the frog with me. It blows my mind that these kids are 11, 12, 13 and this was likely the first time they ever held a toad! To get them to do it, I had to say we were "doing it together" by holding the hand on top of mine and then placing the frog in it. Usually there was a shriek at first, but then all was calm. That is, until it started moving.
Well, then Thursday arrived. It was so weird going to school knowing that it was my last day and that there was going to be a celebration that afternoon in my honor. Or, as I soon learned, two. There was one with the students AND then one with the teachers. At first things were ok because there were still a few exams to take, so I just had to go into classes and give exams, but I noticed Class VII had vanished. When I asked some other students, they pointed to the tree at the other end of the school field where they were all gathered. "Madam, they're practicing for the celebration." I'm sorry, but I can't seem to adequately describe the feeling of that moment. Just knowing that there is a Tanzanian celebration being prepared in your honor is... overwhelming is the closest I can get. I went back to the "safe place" my mind first resorted to when I arrived in Tanzania came back and I haven't needed to do that probably since my first few days here. I had no idea what would all be coming, and on top of that, I was trying to enjoy every moment because they were the last ones. Luckily, I think I was able to just be for the day which was the best position to be in.
Eventually the exams finished, and then they started getting the speakers ready so all the kids knew the time was coming. Again, many were clinging to me and both Christine and I started to get a little too overwhelmed, so during break we went home for 15 mintues to just breathe. This is the only the second time the school has said good bye to a missionary teacher, and for the Class V and VI kids, it's their first time with a missionary teacher who's actually taught them. I think that made this harder in some ways. We got back, and I was able to spend some more time with the kids before they started gathering them for the celebration. I won't be able to post pictures right now, but I will soon. I was (unintentionally) in a row of honor. All of the other teachers were sitting behind me, so I was pretty much there, front and center. The kids were then invited to do anything they had prepared. Surprisingly, a group of Class IV boys and a group of girls had prepared some small dances. Class V had one group go, and then a Class V boy and a Class VI boy did some intense, awesome dancing. I'm so happy, we have a video of it! A mixed group of Class V, VI and VII kids had a skit prepared and a song. I couldn't actually hear most of the skit, but the song was mixed Swahili and English saying good bye. Then Class VII went, and I was blown away. I really think every kid was involved. All of the boys were doing the drums while the girls did the singing and dancing. At first the girls were just in a circle singing a similar good bye song, but then they really started dancing. It got pretty African :) It's so hard to explain it, but we have three videos of it because it was probably 10 minutes long as a whole and there were distinctly three parts to it. I was pretty floored by the whole thing; it was so amazing! Then the head teacher danced which was entertaining because he's not a young guy, and I was asked to speak. I just thanked the students and told them how much they had given me. I promised them that I would never stop telling people in America how amazing they are, even if they got sick of it! (Everyone back home, be ready. This is 100% true.) That more or less ended the time with the students. I asked Class V to go back to the class so we could do a class picture in the classroom, although the ones outside of it are better. That's when the students really started realizing this was the end. A number started crying (myself included) and I was more or less in a perptual hugging state for about fifteen minutes. I kept telling them that we had to be glad we had our time together rather than be sad it was over because I was repeating that quote to myself the entire day. Finally though I just said good bye and walked back home.
I went home and had a little while to breathe. However, it had only been about twenty minutes when Christine knocked on my door and told me that some Class VII boys were there to greet me one last time. So I sat out on the porch for at least another hour as kids came and went and talked with me. Fourteen year old boys are the same in all cultures I've learned; I just teased them about girls for a long time. They like them now, so they didn't mind. A little after 3 we went back to the school for the teacher celebration which was much calmer. The teachers more or less thanked me, they gave me a very African style dress and an elephant with a stand that said "Wellcome back" (spelled exactly like that. Oh Tanzania!). We had a meal together, took a group picture, and then the day more or less ended.
Like I said, I was really good about just being present for the whole thing. When I prayed last night, my mind was buzzing with everything that had happened. I ended up just saying "Well, God, today happened. I don't know what else to say." Good bye's are necessary in life. That doesn't make it easier, but they have to happen. Today, we took a 10.5 bus ride to Arusha because tomorrow we start a safari through Tarangire National Park, Serengeti National Park, and Ngorongoro crater. That was a good time to process everything. I think I made a mistake in focusing too much on getting to this few days that I didn't prepare myself for the total meaning. Whenever I realize that this was the end, and I don't get to see, teach, laugh with, talk to, sing with, encourage, etc. these kids anymore, I just start to lose it. Even as I'm typing this now a few tears are leaking out. I've said it before, and I will just have to say it again (and again, and again, and again): bwana asifewe, God gave me the most amazing children to teach. And in God's great, benevolent plan, this was the time we had together. I only hope I accomplished everything he wanted me to with them.
We'll be on safari this week, and then it's just one more week in Tanzania! Stay tuned, the end is near.
God bless,
Kjirstin
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